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don't cry

Dear Ayz,  Don't cry.  You barely remember his face and his voice is faint in your head, but don't cry. The conversations are fading and the songs have been sung, but don't cry. It's almost over but don't cry.  Love, it's almost over, hold on to that.  It happened. You were loved, by the one person you wanted to love you, even if it was just brief, even if it was just for one night. Hold on to that.  Life doesn't seem to be looking up, what with the pandemic and being locked up alone in your room, but there's a silver lining there. You just have to find it.  Your heart will heal soon.  Things are better now.  Love,  Me
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The right thing is always the hardest

Dear Ayz, Do you believe that the right thing is always the hardest to do? Because maybe that's the reason why you're heart is breaking or why it's taken you this long to do what you had to do a year ago.  I can hear your heart breaking, feel you gasping for air. I know it almost feels like New Year 2020 when you were unable to hold.yourself up because of the pain. I know the tears come and you're unable to keep them at bay.  Dear one, you are strong. You are amazing, and God fucking much, you are so worth it. And if he doesn't see that, if no one can see that, please look in the mirror and acknowledge that on your own.  Love, you are precious. Don't let the worries and heartbreak of this world break you.  Cry if you must. Rid yourself of all these tears and pain, of the uncertainties, of the waiting, of the rollercoaster of emotions you don't deserve.  Love, you are loved. Remember that. They may not be from the person you wish who would but love, you are, ...
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Breathe

 Dear Ayz,  Breathe.  Calm down.  I know you hate people fussing over you but remember that they are either concerned or curious. They do no know how anxious you're feeling, and you should cut them some slack.  Breathe.  Remember, take hold of the things you can control and let go of the ones you cant.  You can do this.  You are strong.  You are brave.  You will be just fine.  Love,  Me PS. Try not to cry. 
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Hello, Life

 Dear Ayz,  First let me start off by saying, I am proud of you. I know you don't feel like it, but you are strong. 2020 beat you black and blue, left you for dead, but here now, you rise. You are rising.  I was witness to every tear, heard every time your heart broke, shook my head every time you refused to learn. Regardless, all of that is in the past (leave it there na ha?), and what matters most is today and what you do from here on out.  Dearest, there is no shame in a restart. Walang set na timeline. Took you a while, but here you are starting over. There is no shame in that. I know you're scared. You feel old and late to be restarting, but again, remember, walang set na schedule. What might be late for some might just be the right time for you. You feel alone but know this and take it to heart, you are loved. You may not be loved by the people you want to love you but you are loved by the people whose love you need.  I am super excited for all our plans. ...
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